An open letter to my boyfriend who sadly passed away

Dear Luke,

My darling Luke, I can’t believe it’s November already. 1 year ago, everything was fantastic in both of our lives. You had just started your dream course studying graphic design at University and I had just come back home from travelling. We had been fortunate enough to have been introduced to one another and we were just beginning our life together as one. It was very early days for us both when it happened but I liked to believe what we had was good and was definitely heading in the right direction. We had both recently just come out of relationships and didn’t realise that there was better out there until we met each other. I remember the first time you came and spoke to me at work. You shook my hand and introduced yourself, “Hi, I’m Luke and I’m your team leader, it’s lovely to meet you Ashleigh” Hahaha, this still makes me laugh to this day. You took your job so seriously and not going to lie, you were the most irritating guy to work with ever. Our very first shift together even got people talking, I remember everyone being like “oh look at Ashleigh and Luke” “There will be a new Sainsburys couple soon, just you wait and see” I absolutely loved the attention especially when you didn’t deny any of it. I knew from the start that there was something special about you.

After a few weeks of talking and flirting at work. The weekend came and everyone from work was heading out in the town, unfortunately you and I were stuck doing the late shift. I was working till 8pm and you were there till 10:30pm, I kept pestering you all evening saying, “please come out” “It would be so good if you did” I didn’t want to come across as needy but at the same time I wanted you there more than anything. You replied, “I can’t, I’m working till 10:30pm and I haven’t got any money at all”. Which surprised me more than ever when someone came and put there freezing cold hands on my back in the bar. Turned around and who winks at me? Mr Luke Mumford, the boy who was working late and had no money at all. I later found out from your best friend that you begged her to lend you the money because you wanted to come out and see me which absolutely melts my heart.

From this point, we hit it off. We spent so much time together, here, there and everywhere. We met each other’s families and friends and everything was going great. My mum absolutely idolised you and even told me herself that you were a keeper and she was not far from wrong. I loved spending time with your mum and getting to know your brother as well. I knew you were both extremely close, so what made you happy, made me happy to. As much as I felt sorry for you mum, it was always so entertaining when you and Adam used to gang up on her at the dinner table. Although she definitely got her revenge when she pulled out the photo album and you practically run away crying haha! what a cute little baby you were. I have so many great memories with you Luke, I wouldn’t even know where to begin. You were always a true gentleman and I can’t say any guy has come close to the dates you took me on. There were no typical nando’s dates with you my dear. I remember when you took me to that old thatched roof restaurant in the countryside that had candle light tables, I almost died. You were so thoughtful and so romantic, always trying to please everyone around you.

You were the naughtiest, cheekiest boy I know. My last memory of you before you left my house that night was when I walked you to the door to say goodbye. You slapped my bum and ran down my drive way shouting “either come catch me now or you’ll have to tell me off later” That was the last time I saw you. Having that memory as our last memory just goes to show how much of a happy and funny guy you were, never ever failed to make me laugh. Another great example of your cheekiness is when you somehow got me to sign myself up for a 9-hour shift on a Saturday, just so you could see me. I hated work but I literally came in just for you.


How on earth did you do it? 🙈😂

I just genuinely can’t believe it’s been a whole year now since we lost you. I can’t say its been easiest ride but I like to think i’ve done really well since and I hope you are proud of me, In fact I know you are proud of me. I have never really experienced losing someone so close before you and it’s such a strange feeling. Although you are gone, I have many days were I feel you are still here and I like to believe you do look down on us all. It’s ridiculous but I find myself talking to you all the time like a weirdo. Not a single day goes by where I don’t miss you or even think about you. You were the most fantastic guy I have ever had the pleasure of meeting and I just want you to know I did absolutely adore you. We didn’t exactly get to share the longest amount of time together but I will treasure the time I was fortunate enough to have.

Thank you for being apart of my life and showing me what true happiness felt like.

Yours sincerely,

Ashleigh

 

Luke was not only my boyfriend but an amazing friend, brother, son and person in general. He was actually voted Lad of the week by the Ladbible which then lead to him being voted Lad of the year 2017 for all the amazing things he had done. If you would like to read his story I will share the link with you below. He was a great guy and I know he would absolutely love people to hear about the good things he did in his short life.

Luke Jay Mumford, Lad of the Year LADBIBLE

How to become a CRAZY unicorn lady tutorial, Halloween 2017

I do apologise for this entry being extremely late, it’s just that I have been really busy recently, I just haven’t had the time to update you on my super-duper crazy life. Although Halloween feels like so long ago now, was it 6 months ago or was it 6 days ago? who knows. I thought it would be cool to share my evenings itinerary with you guys and show you what I decided to go as to the fancy dress party. As well as this, for any of my fellow unicorn lovers, here is a little tutorial on how you can achieve this fab look.

Halloween is most definitely my favourite holiday of the whole year. I absolutely love the idea of dressing up and I get so excited to see other people’s dress up ideas. I actually planned my Halloween outfit way back in August just because I was that excited this year. For anyone who knows me well will know how OBSESSED I am with unicorns so I combined the two and that’s where I got my idea for this year. I understand Halloween is meant to be scary and unicorns are most probably the least scary thing but I had a great time and that’s all that matters.

Want to achieve this look?

The look I went for this year was not a full fancy-dress outfit, it was just simple and pretty. In my opinion, it was a little pricey once you added it all together and looking back now, it probably could have been achieved a lot cheaper. The way I see it is if the items purchased can be reused for many different occasions then you’re not losing out on much. I can reuse the dress for parties and the glitter will always come in handy for events and festivals in the future. The best thing about my costume was the fact it was so easy to achieve, it took no more than 2 hours to put all together.

 

Unicorn Head Band: Purchased on eBay for £3.50 (free p+p)

Pink, Blue, Lilac and Glitter Hairspray: Purchased from Claire’s Accessories £4.00 

3 pots of pink, purple and silver body glitter: Purchased from the app DEPOP seller: glitter galore £3.00

Diamond body stick ons: Purchased from Claire’s Accessories: £4.00

Baby Pink Chocker: Purchased from ASOS £3.00

Morphe 35B 35 Color Glam Eyeshadow Palette:  Purchased from BeautyBay £23.00

White Racer Neck Midi Dress: Purchased from MissGuided £15.00

Total Price: £55.50 

 

You would not need all of the above in order to achieve this Unicorn styled look however, this is what I purchased. There are many cheaper and more expensive alternatives for many of the items I used above, you’ve just got to do a little research beforehand.

I ended up spending my evening at the Universities union with a dead bride, Chucky and Negan from The Walking Dead. Unfortunately, I did not win the £100 fancy dress prize but it’s the participation that counts, right? After this, my friends and I headed into Manchester City Centre and ended up partying the night away in the Gay Village. It was one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time and I already cannot wait for next year. If you have not been to the Gay Village before you have to try it out. It’s simply just a long strip of bars and clubs and they simply play the BEST music ever.

I’m not going to lie, I simply had an absolutely fantastic time being a Unicorn this year and I really hope you enjoyed the look I achieved. Let me know if you decide to use any of my tips and tricks to becoming a Unicorn yourself.

My Amazing/Terrible Matching Best Friend Tattoo Story 

Todays post is a little different from my usual type, instead of an advice related topic, today is a fun story time session with me. Grab yourself a seat on a nice comfy chair and get ready for whats about to hit you (not literally don’t worry). I thought today would be a great chance to share the best/worse thing that ever happened to my friends & I and the great memory we now have because of it. If you are looking for tattoo inspiration you have definitely come to the wrong place so I would recommend turning away now and saving yourself 5 minutes of your life. Although these tattoos are very precious to us they do not have any artistic inspiration to them.

As this story is going to be based on my two best friends, it might be a good idea to introduce you. My best friends are two Twin sisters named Paige and Taite and they have been my friends since Year 12 (sixth form). Over the past 4/5 years we have grown closer and closer and I now know they will always be in my life. Paige works in a piercing studio and has done for a few years now and Taite is just about to begin a tattoo apprenticeship, how typical. They are both loved up with fellas but are always there to cry with me when I’m single and lonely, which happens more than i’d like to admit. They both live at home with their parents and there brother and sister, which great as they are all very close. To top off how fabulous these two diamonds are, they are both extremely excellent at art and are forever drawing/painting me the most beautiful pictures. Now I’ve had these two in my life a while I honestly couldn’t see my life without them.

Once a week my best friends and I decide to meet up after work and go for a few drinks and food. As we are all young and poor individuals, currently surviving our not so exciting life on minimum wage, we usually end up in Wetherspoons. For any of my non-british friends reading this, Wetherspoons is a chain food business around England that sells the best cheap microwaved food in a restaurant. It sounds like the worse place on earth and you might be thinking “ew, why would you pay for crap microwaved food” but it’s an awesome English legacy that every young British adult will understand. Every single week without fail, My two besties and I will end up here regardless of any situation that might occur in ours lives, we always end up together with a glass of wine in one hand and our knife and fork in the other. We have been here in the past for hours at a time going through all different stages of life, such as break ups, fall outs, reunions, terrible days at work and even some of the best days of our lives have happened in Wetherspoons.

On the 23rd February 2017, we headed into town on our regular weekly Wetherspoons trip. We had all had a really busy week at work and hadn’t made much time for each other recently. We hate it when this happens because we genuinely miss each other and crave each others presences so bad. There is no better feeling that meeting your pals after a week or so and sharing all the gossip you have, normally about boys. Due to being so excited to finally see each other we decided to spread the love by getting a few too many rounds in. We started off with the typical glass or two or rose, following with some cocktails (Jugs, not glasses) and i’m pretty sure the night ended with the classic shots. By the end off this we got onto the subject of tattoos and how great we think matching best friend ones are, As much as I love Paige and Taite, I would like to state that matching best friend tattoos are a terrible idea.

I love us as a group as I feel we are all completely different people but work so well together as a team. You have Taite who is very quite and innocent, Paige who is naughty and mischievous and then theres me, the loud, hyper, and funny one of the group. This is where we got our nickname from, we decided to base our friendship around the ever so famous ‘Neapolitan’ ice cream. You have your chocolate, vanilla and your strawberry flavours in the one pot and that basically sums us up.

What would be the fun in me telling you who is who, why don’t we play a little game of guess who.. (comment who you think represents each flavour and your reason as to why, bonus point if you can guess which one is Paige and which one is Taite).

By this point I can probably imagine you know what direction this story is heading, so yes we did in fact get ice creams tattooed on all of us. We decided to get a ice-cream cone with 3 scoops on top, that way one could represent each of us. We have now had this tattoo for nearly a year and even though it’s terrible, deep down I have no regrets at all. Not only does it resemble my friendship but also reminds me of one of the best nights out I have ever had. So to end the story now we all have a ice cream on us as a memory. Don’t repeat my mistake.

Suffering from Anxiety. You are not alone

This morning I got up nice and early and headed into University for a very well organised and productive day. As I got all my work done and out the way I decided to spare some time and relax at home. When I got home I popped my feet up with a nice hot cup of tea and had a break before starting my day. I am not one to watch day time TV usually but today I was flicking through the TV channels and I came across Philip & Holly on This morning’s ITV. The thing that caught my eye was the fact they were discussing a topic very close to my heart. They had a trained psychologist live on TV with an open helpline for people to call up and discuss what anxiety issues either themselves, family or friends were suffering with. This extremely opened up my eye to the realisation that I am not alone. Since watching this I have felt so inspired to write about my experiences and see if I can help anyone out there feeling the same way I do.

What does it mean to be Anxious? The dictionary states ‘feeling or showing worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome’ but in my eyes it is so much more. Imagine feeling like this all the time in everything that you do in your daily life? After a while its not fun and it does nothing but mentally and physically drain you. I know this because I have been there and am still there struggling from day to day. Anxiety often links in with depression however this is not always the case for everyone, you can be the happiest person in the world but have anxiety over the most simplest of things. Whether thats something as simple as eating your lunch in a room full of people or something more in depth such as never wanting to leave your home and haven’t left your house in years. There are so many different reasons as to why anxiety and depression can occur but today I would only like to mention a few that are close to home.

Some of you, whom have previously read my mental health related posts will know but for the people who are new here welcome to my story. I would like to take five minutes of your time to share my experiences in the mental health sector with you as I think it’s extremely important to open up and share. Since the age of 13/14 when I reached puberty, I suffered drastically with my hormones causing me to become very anxious and suffer with major depression. Back then at the age of 14 I had no idea what I was feeling and what was happening to my body. Only now at the age of 21 do I fully understand my issues and even still on a daily basis I struggle. For me the whole reason behind my Anxiety comes from the pressure of needing to be perfect. But the truth is, “perfect” doesn’t exist, and although we’ve been taught “nobody’s perfect”, we still tend to obsess over this powerful word and find ourselves striving for that unreachable goal. Who get’s to decide what perfect is? No one has the power to do so and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Not only now at the age of 21 am I starting to understand this and this is why I am feeling happier within myself.

Over the past 7 years my anxiety has had its ups and downs however I have worked so hard to keep them as high up as I can. I am very proud of how far i’ve come and this is why i’m sharing my experiences with you today. I would be lying if I told you it was an easy journey because it wasn’t. As well as this you can see it’s not an easy process and it definitely did not happen over night. The hardest part for me is the lack of confidence that I have and I feel like this a big problem for a lot of people. I extremely struggle with my confidence which causes me to miss out on opportunities I know deep down I would love to be involved in, unfortunately due to my anxiety and depression I have missed out on far to much for me to even recall. Not only has this affected my social life but has played a huge part in my past relationship as well. There would be times me and my ex partner would get invited to parties and social events in which I would be absolutely buzzing with excitement for until the time came for the event to take place. I would get so nervous and scared at the fact I had to socialise with people I would have panic attacks and spend all evening crying in my bed, this took a huge toll on my relationship because in his eyes he didn’t understand and it held him back from the party lifestyle he craved. There is nothing worse than feeling so low and vulnerable like this especially when you know deep down you don’t want to be this way.

For me my anxiety issues and depression have always stemmed from the way I look. I have never been happy with myself and have always wanted to be everyone else other than me. There would be nights I would cry myself to sleep hoping and praying I wouldn’t wake up in the morning and I think that’s an extremely heartbreaking way to be. Not only now do I know life doesn’t have to be this way but I have also learnt it won’t change unless you work at it. It’s a long journey and a huge process that only you can take yourself on. Every single day off my life I am faced with scenarios that trigger my anxiety but with the coping mechanism i’ve learnt over the years, I help myself get through them.

Everyone has or will struggle with anxiety at some point in their life, and everyone has their own coping mechanisms. You’re not alone even if you feel like you are. Just know that in many places around the world there is someone feeling just like you. Whether you are that 13 year old girl or boy or you are a fully grown adult, you are important and you shouldn’t have to feel the way you do. If I could leave you with one piece of advice today, It would be to try and not assume the worst of every situation, remember your personal needs, and find tricks that can help you in the moment. It will be a long process but if you want something bad enough you can reach that goal. Hopefully with my help today you can reduce your anxiety and maybe even get rid of it. Don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed about the way you feel you can’t help what goes on in your mind, our brains are very intelligent muscles we just have to try and fight against our thoughts and put it back on the right path, the path for happiness.

Wowcher Spa Day Review | Great Gift Idea For Your Loved Ones 

Coming up with gift ideas for my friends and family has always been one of  the most hardest decisions I have to make. I’m not the type of girl who likes to grab the nearest bottle of wine on the shelf and hopes for the best, I like to put in a lot of time and effort with my presents. Birthdays are really special to me as I believe everyone deserves one day to be treated and made feel god damn special. This year I believe I did an absolutely amazing job with my gifts and I thought I’d share one which I was very happy and impressed with.

Not too long ago was my dear mothers birthday and as she had been working crazy hard at work recently I decided to treat her to a beautiful spa day. I purchased a package directly off wowcher which included afternoon tea & two treatments, as well as all day access to the spa and gym facilities.  As we got a choice,  the two treatments we decided to choose were a 40 minute full neck, shoulder and back massage and a 20 minute facial scrub which was absolutely amazing. Although they weren’t for too long they were just long enough for me and the masseuses were very well trained so I felt great afterwards. Many of the packages on wowcher offer similar but different services depending on what type of relaxation you are after, it’s always worth having a little scroll through before purchasing the first one you see. We decided to go with the £99 package for two people at the Bannatyne Health Club And Spa in Ashford, Kent.


                                                      My mother and I relaxing by the pool.

We arrived there for 10 o’clock in the morning and spent the first few hours relaxing and making the most of the spa facilities.  I decided to start the day with swimming a few lengths in the pool as I thought if I worked out first I would really benefit from the massage afterwards. I don’t swim often but when I do I really enjoy it and always feel really great afterwards. After swimming my mother and I decided to use the steam room and sauna. I personally don’t really enjoy the saunas just because I get very claustrophobic although I think the steam rooms are great. I loved this because I have very oily skin and I am prone to getting achne however the sauna helped lots and made my skin feel cleansed. 

After a few hours relaxing by the pool we headed to our afternoon tea session. Neither of us had ever had afternoon tea before so we wasn’t too sure what to expect but nevertheless we were thrilled with the outcome. The afternoon tea was simple and basic but It was everything we needed to fill up the hole in our stomachs comfortably. For anyone who knows me well you’ll know how much I love my tea so this was my idea of perfect. 


After lunch we headed to the relaxation room to allow our body some time to digest the amount of cakes we had just stuffed down out throat. The great thing about this place is they don’t rush you around which I thought they would. There was no plan to your day and you were free to spend it however you wanted. 2pm soon came round and we headed off to start our pamper session.  The ladies were very welcoming and explained the process as they took us through to the room. Once we arrived they gave us five minutes alone  to get our clothing off and get comfy on the massage table for when they came back in. They started with the neck, shoulder and back massage followed by the facial scrub at the end and I can safely say that was the best hour of my life.

It was a fantastic day that I would highly recommend to anyone looking for a gift idea for their loved ones. If you love to be pampered and smothered with lots of yummy treats this would definitely be the day for you.  I was very happy with the service I received at the Bannatyne Health Club in Ashord and will definitely be returning in the future for a simple yet satisfying day time treat.