Learning To Self Love

Not too long ago I was mentioned by the lovely Claire Mac over on her most recent Self Love blog post. The aim of this tag is to encourage others to open up, show confidence and share positivity. I believe so strongly about promoting self love that I simply could not turn down this opportunity.

self love

What Is Self Love?

I once got told “If you can’t love yourself, don’t expect others to love you too. Learn to love yourself first, then you’ll need no one to make you happy”.

Although, I knew these were words of wisdom it’s still hard to learn to put this into pratice. I spent so many years feeling insecure and not good enough for any relationship I’ve ever had. Each relationship was completely different but always ended in the exact same way. It took me a long time to realise that it wasn’t the people I was dating but it was me. Only now do I realise how important my own well being and happiness is. It’s vital to learn to love yourself before you can even contemplate loving someone else. I’d also like to remind people that you do not have to be in a relationship to be happy, you can be happy alone.

The Important Questions

What is something that is getting you down at the moment?

I have always been someone who is very open with my feelings and emotions. I believe that a problem shared is a problem halved and I will always stand by this. Therefore, I shall promise to be completely honest with you all today. The one thing that is really getting me down at the moment is my postpatrum body. I am shocked at how much a womans body can change after they give birth to their baby. I know I should be extremely grateful as I was able to carry my daughter for 9 months and everything went as well as it could have. But, it’s so hard to stand there and look back at my ‘new body’ in the mirror. I have so many stretch marks across my belly and thighs. Like what the hell! why did my thighs need to stretch? and my boobs? what even are they? Empty sacks of sadness – that is what they shall now be known as. I am currently very down about this but it has only been 10 weeks and I’m sure it will get better within time. I’ve just got to keep on thinking positive and happy thoughts.

What is something that makes you happy?

One thing that really makes me happy is seeing Alexis and her dad spending time together. I think it’s such a beautiful thing to see how much they love one another. Understandably, she is only 10 weeks old but I still love seeing them bonding and learning together. It’s a learning curve for the both of us but Matt truly is doing a fantastic job. He has made me so proud and we are very lucky to have him.

Name three guilty pleasures.
  • I’m currently very obsessed with Kit Kats! They are such an underrated chocolate bar.
  • I must spend at least half of my day watching YouTube. Ever since I was around 15 years old I have spent time watching so many vloggers and youtubers. Although, I no longer giggle and fangirl I do still watch all the originals daily.
  • Last but not least, my biggest guilty pleasure is spending all of my money on payday. I know I shouldn’t but for that one day I am so beyond rich and cannot help but splash the cash.
learning to self love
learning to self love
What is something about yourself you’d like to improve?

I would love to improve my concentration levels and motivational skills. I struggle to be able to focus and get a job completed. This post itself has taken me over a week to write and it should have only taken a day – max! Then again, I do like to blame this on the fact I am a very busy parent with a very needy newborn. Anyhoo, that isn’t really an excuse and this is something I working on improving. I recently purchased a Daily Goal Setter Journal which has been helping me loads. Make sure to head over and check out my review on this product and the company Mal Paper.

What makes you belly laugh?

My brother makes me laugh so much. He is honestly my best friend and whenever we spend time together we do nothing but giggle. We have 9 years between us but that doesn’t stop us from having fun. It’s either that I am way too immature or he’s very mature for his age. Either way, it works wonders for us and we always have a great time.

What is your biggest insecurity/fear?

I always fear that one day I will be abandoned by the ones I love most. I think this comes as a big symptom of my borderline personality disorder. This is something that I have recently discovered that I struggle with and I am currently getting help for. I think it’s pretty natural to feel this way but I love to be surrounded by the people I love. If these people where to be taken away from me, I just don’t know how I’d cope. Therefore, this really is a big fear of mine.

Name a song which always cheers you up?

I can’t deny that every single song from The Greatest Showman soundtrack makes me happy. I just love everything about this album. ‘This Is Me’ is by far my favourite one because of its empowering lyrics. It is very relatable and holds a very strong message about self love.

Name three things you like about yourself.

This is so much harder than I thought but I am learning to love myself so here goes nothing.

  • Absolutely love that I am such a selfless and thoughtful person.
  • I am also quite an intelligent lady who really enjoys learning.
  • I love that I am very spontaneos and will never turn down an adventure.
What is an achievement which has made you proud this year?

It sounds silly but my biggest achievement this year was getting through my pregnancy. I found pregnancy very difficult and I suffered throughout the whole nine months. I struggled so much that I can safely safe that giving birth was a lot easier than the pregnancy itself. Therefore, I am so damn proud that I pulled through and actually made it.

What is your happiest memory?

I am very fortunate enough to say I have been brought up in a wonderful environment full of the most happiest of memories. All my best memories come from our family day trips and holidays away. My mum always made sure that we had fantastic times – regardless of where we went or what we did. I will forever be grateful for everything she has done for us so for that I simply cannot answer. I have far too many happy memories to even consider sharing one with you today. (Thanks again mum, I know you read this)

daily affirmations

4 Comments

  1. August 5, 2019 / 2:31 am

    Thank you for sharing and being open about your struggles. I struggle a lot with self-love too. I was rejected pretty much constantly as a kid. I didn’t have actual friends until my teens. My family was still together in theory, but they never seemed to take any interest in things I enjoyed doing, because they weren’t things the rest of my family understood, and because my parents were often too busy for me. Going away to a large university at 18 (which I think I’ve told you is the topic of my other blog) was great for me, it forced me to grow up, and I found my niche and my faith. But I still often felt left out. I didn’t know how to be an adult. I didn’t know how to form relationships, as my friends were meeting people and getting married soon after. An organization I was involved with at the time had cliques within it. In my late 20s, I was in a place that I realized would never feel like home, and at one point someone who should be in a position to be a mentor and authority figure said terrible things about me. I spent much of my 30s around friends who paid attention to my interests but had very different lifestyles and beliefs. Rejection and being alone are just kind of the norm for me, and I’ve gotten used to it, and in that context it’s hard to love myself.

    Being aware that this is an issue for you is the first step, and you seem to be taking the right steps to deal with it. I don’t know if it helps to hear this–I know it doesn’t always help for me to hear things like this–but someone out there thinks your life is pretty amazing and wishes he/she/they had your life. You have a relationship and a new family, you’ve been able to help lots of people through your writing, and (I mean this in the most respectful way possible) holy crap, you’re beautiful outside and inside. Those are all things I wished I had. Well… I’m a guy, so I don’t exactly wish I looked like you, but I wish beautiful women who looked like you found me attractive… haha. But on the other hand, I have a lot of things that others wish they had. I have a steady job. I have a roof over my head. And I was always good at school; I graduated with honors from a somewhat prestigious university on time in four years at age 21. It’s easier to look at everything you don’t have than to be thankful for what you do have. That’s something I’m working on.

    I can say one more thing: as for your fear of being abandoned, please know that I will never abandon you. I know I’m probably not high up on your list of people who you have in mind when you worry about abandonment, considering I’m an ocean away and we’ve never met in person and we don’t really talk a whole lot. But I’m always here for you if you need someone, and I mean it.

    And I got a good laugh at “empty sacks of sadness.” So you helped cheer me up today. 🙂

  2. August 6, 2019 / 11:13 am

    This is a great post! I love all these questions as they don’t only force you to think about what you love about yourself but also answer some tricky questions and think about things you wouldn’t normally think about. Being such a selfless person is an amazing quality x

  3. sundaymorningwithsandy.com
    August 21, 2019 / 12:42 am

    I loved everything about this post!! Just for the record … I had no idea Kit Kats were underrated. They are second under Snickers for me.

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